Inside My Broken Mind

I have multiple tumblr accounts but I wanted one where my friends and family couldn't see. This is simply my thoughts, experiences, and anything I wouldn't want my friends or family to see.

Male. 20. Texas. College Student.

Well I just don’t know what to do.

I met a girl.She is so beautiful and amazing. We spent a lot of time hanging out and pulled all nighters together with my room mates. I felt like she liked me. I asked her to be my date for a party. She said no because she may like someone else. She finally tells me who she likes. It is my best friend and room mate. Instantly I feel like the only reason she has been coming over is because she wants to be around him. My best friend knows that I like her and have liked her for a while. Today he told me that he has a big crush on her. I had told her that I like her but whatever. So now I am just like I want to die. I hate this. I can never catch a fucking break. It is just getting to the point that I don’t want to be alive anymore. Every time I meet a girl I end up getting put in the friend zone. I’m done playing this game. I give up. 

I’m feeling so broken right now. I feel like nothing I do is right.

On the plus side I am still living. Although sometimes I will admit I would rather be dead.

I wish I could help myself like I help other people.